TRUTHS FOR MATURE HUMANS

I received this in an email forward. I wish I knew the author so I could give credit, because frankly, they're brilliant. I think I nodded and smiled at just about every one. Enjoy!

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber and dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

I Admit, I'm Addicted to my iPhone

I wrote this piece as an sample of my work for eCopywriters.com. They are an online copywriting service, and given that I have a degree in writing, enjoy writing, and am good at writing, I thought it would be fun to be a copywriter for them. I still plan to submit it once I've perfected it, but I still don't feel I'm at that point yet. So I thought I'd post it for you to read and give me any feedback you might have :)

Writing prompt: A product or service you simply cannot live without.

Calendar. Notes. Calculator. I’m not talking about your run-of-the-mill office products; these are iPhone apps. Apps that have played a part in revolutionizing the way I use my phone. I am more organized, more responsible, more productive, and more entertained than life without it.

I used to write my grocery list on a post-it note. I’d keep a running list and stash it in my purse for “safe” keeping. Most of the time it ended up crinkled underneath my wallet by the time I actually needed it. iPhone to the rescue! I now have an app called “notes,” which comes standard. I can keep multiple lists going, and can even email a list (with the touch of the screen) to my husband to see if he has anything to add to it.

I also used to write doctor appointments on post-its. My computer monitor was framed in these brightly colored pieces of paper. I would get so used to seeing them that I wouldn’t even notice them anymore. But wouldn’t you know, the iPhone comes with an easy-to-use calendar, so I no longer forget an appointment. I simply add it to my calendar, set a reminder alarm, and I’m done. Now, there’s nothing wrong with post-its, especially pretty colored ones. I have them all over my desk at work. But they’re not as efficient, and certainly won’t beep at you until you remember to go to your chiropractor appointment.

I no longer fear the put-it-off-another-day type of errands thanks to my multi-tasking abilities. Bring on the DMV and oil change; I can respond to email and stay in-tune with what’s going on in the world through the email and twitter apps, all while sitting in a waiting room. And, of course, I can stay in touch with friends through Facebook and Words with Friends.

Finally, one of the most important reasons why I cannot live without my iPhone is the FM 94/9 app. I recently moved to Los Angeles, and this app allows me to still listen to my favorite radio station in San Diego via my phone, connecting me back home. Sure helps ease the pain of my hour-long commute to work.

I have hardly begun to express how much my iPhone participates in my day-to-day life. To find out for yourself, take a trip to your local Apple store and purchase yours today!

Thankful for the Ordinary

The pitter patter of rain hitting the roof...
The aroma of food coming from the kitchen...
The sound of my dog howling at sirens as they go by...
My husband breathing (and sometimes snoring) as he sleeps...

I’m thankful for it all.

It is easy to say thank you when things are going your way, or when you receive something unexpectedly great. But we often forget to thank God for the everyday. So many things in our lives go unnoticed, but they’re certainly appreciated.

The rain we’re getting—albeit it’s not a lot—is appreciated, because here in Southern California we’re in a drought. We need to be thankful for every drop of rain we get. But it’s more than that…hearing the rain outside means that I have a home to live in. My home keeps me dry. Even though my apartment is (much) smaller than I’d like, it’s cozy, and it’s home, and it’s perfect for right now.

I love to cook and I love the different smells that fill the house when I make dinner. We are fortunate to have a healthy meal on our plates every night. I appreciate my ability to cook and to be creative and be able to whip something up even when I haven’t gone to the grocery store for a while. God has given me a means to provide for my husband, and someday, my family.

One of my favorite things is when my dog is sleeping in front of the couch and all of a sudden a siren goes by and he howls. It never fails to make me laugh. It reminds me that I have a dog who is like a child to us, depends on us to take him to play and exercise (well, my husband), to feed him, and to give him a loving home. I can’t imagine my life without the energetic bundle of joy that is Oslo!

Sometimes Chris tends to breathe heavy or snore when he sleeps. It usually doesn’t bother me because I can just give him a little tap and he’ll stop. But it reminds me that he is by my side no matter what. I am married to a wonderful man who I love, and who loves me, and who I am so happy to be sharing my life with.

There are so many more things that I could talk about, but most of all I am thankful that God gave me the grace to realize that it's He who has blessed me with these things. Without Him I am nothing.

So praise God for the mundane, the ordinary...along with the extraordinary, because it is the same God and the same grace that provides it all.